Stephen Colbert welcomed his ‘best television friends’, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, and John Oliver — on Monday night after a monologue that touched on war in the Middle East, Donald Trump’s latest AI images, and Sean Duffy’s return to reality TV.

Trump’s Peace Plan and Iran’s Demands

Colbert discussed reports that the U.S. president sent Iran a one-page memo last week outlining his peace plan. ‘I’m told we have a copy,’ he joked, flashing up a handwritten note styled like a school kid’s love letter: ‘Will you go to peace with me? Yes or no.’

Over the weekend, Iran responded to Trump’s proposal with a list of demands that included reparations for the war and full control over the strait of Hormuz. They also said they were willing to suspend development of their nuclear program, but for a shorter time than the 20 years requested by Trump.

‘Twenty years isn’t even that long,’ laughed Colbert. ‘Anne Hathaway looks exactly the same. And if anything, Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci, and Emily Blunt are more radiant than ever.’

Trump’s Mother’s Day AI Images and 22ft Statue

When asked about his plans to end the war, Trump said: ‘I have the best plan ever. It is a very simple plan … Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon. Very simple.’

‘The only thing simpler than the plan is the man who has it,’ deadpanned Colbert to audience applause.

The president spent the weekend’s Mother’s Day holiday posting a slew of images. Some showed Trump surrounded by pink hearts, while another proclaimed him ‘the greatest of all time.’

Colbert noted that Trump was also ‘engaging in some recreational idolatry,’ referencing a new 22ft statue of the president at his Miami golf club. ‘[It’s] surprisingly wrinkly. They forgot to steam out his pants, his shirt, and his face.’

Duffy’s Return to Reality TV and UFO Files

The host then turned to Sean Duffy, the transportation secretary and former reality TV personality, who announced his return to television with a new show titled The Great American Road Trip. The five-part YouTube series will see Duffy travel across the U.S. with his wife and nine children, visiting historical landmarks.

‘Well, it’s better than him trying to run stuff,’ said Colbert. ‘Maybe he’ll inspire the rest of Trump’s cabinet to neglect their own jobs.’

In a trailer for the show, Duffy tells his family: ‘We need a song. We can’t do a road trip without the song.’

‘Incorrect,’ Colbert responded. ‘You can’t do a road trip without trying to pair the Bluetooth, failing, then accidentally connecting Mom’s phone — which is halfway through the horniest fantasy novel allowed by law: it’s about a guy who’s half-duke, half-horse, all penis.’

Rachel Campos-Duffy, the transport secretary’s wife, promised on Fox and Friends that the show would be a family-focused antidote to the ‘Pornhub world’ we live in. ‘Incidentally, ‘real good family stuff’ is one of the most popular categories on Pornhub,’ joked Colbert.

Last week, the Pentagon released 160 never-before-seen files related to UFOs. In a Truth Social post, Trump said: ‘With these new documents and videos, the people can decide for themselves, ‘What the hell is going on?’ Have fun and enjoy!’

The documents include testimony from astronauts of seeing ‘very bright particles of light’ in the distance and ‘flashes of light’ inside the spaceship cabin. The host then claimed to have footage of Buzz Aldrin describing those flashes, but instead played a brilliantly eccentric video of Céline Dion scatting.